Tools for the Journey #12 - Exhale Yourself

As rusty-hued autumn colors wash over me and all around me in these days of seasonal change and dwindling light…I am reminded once again of the impermanence of life. Just as springtime is a burst of life and color and things “becoming”…there is also this season of putting things to bed, of quieting down. The garden, the patio furniture, the summer sandals and swimsuits – all tucked away for the coming colder, more inward-reflective time. The changing seasons of the year always has me mindful of the changing seasons of life. This year these thoughts are particularly laden because my precious husband has stage IV cancer. Despite his diagnosis we endeavor to reside in a place of faith rather than fear and some days we are successful…other days not so much.

Lately as I ponder thoughts of life and death I have been reflecting on some wisdom my former Aikido sensei, Wendy Palmer, gave to me many years ago:

"Your inhale is what you take in; it is the gift the World has for you. But your exhale is what you give back to the world...so be very careful how you exhale yourself."

When we are born the very first thing we do is we inhale; we must take this first breath and it is our arrival gift from the World. The very last thing we do when we die is we exhale - we give back the gift we first took in. We come in taking but we go out giving and all the time in between those two points we have a choice about how we exhale ourselves.

As I have walked through my daily life in all the years since Wendy was my sensei I have worked to stay mindful of my exhale. However, these days I have a significantly heightened awareness; I am attempting to stay centered, grounded as I watch Paul valiantly fighting this horrid disease. It is far easier to be centered when not faced with incomprehensible loss…but “Center is not referenced on loss”, Wendy would say, “it references on what is emerging and what is possible”.

So for today, for this moment I strive to stay centered and look to what is possible. To help me in my endeavor I am leaning heavily on the “tools” Wendy gave me all those years ago in a dojo in Marin County. As I pull these tools out and hold them up to the light it serves as a reminder of how even the “old tools” remain useful - have their place in the order of things - and don’t need to get tucked away even when the "seasons" change!

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...and the cycle goes on and on. Wendy's words echoing in my ears have value still:

"Be mindful of how you exhale yourself."

It is my wish, my hope, my fervent prayer that my exhale might one day become a “tool” which someone else will pull out and use to prop themselves up, help them through a tough season, just as Wendy’s wisdom from so many years ago is propping me up today.

Blessings on your journey!
Cheryl

"If the body is a light bulb and it burns out, does that mean there's no more electricity? The source of the energy remains. We can discard the body and go on. We are the source." - Joseph Campbell

Tools for the Journey #11 - Plow Down The Corn...

Do you remember the film: Field of Dreams? The key event in the film is when the main character plows down half of his corn field to make room to build a baseball field for ghost baseball heroes of days past to come and play ball. Needless to say everyone thought this guy was crazy!

"If you build it they will come."

The plowing down of his corn field is a beautiful metaphor; one which I love and think of often when I need to push through to the other side of a problem.

If I build it they will come but first I must "plow down the corn!"

I must look and see what's "in the way" of my progress, what's in the way of my dream bearing fruit? I must identify this "corn" and I must be willing to take risks and have the courage to "plow it down" to make room for what is becoming, what is unfolding, what is before me waiting to arrive. All the while aware of how many will believe I'm crazy or at least making a mistake. This is where trusting myself, trusting my instincts and my higher knowing is key because there will be plenty of people standing by to tell me: "you're nuts".

Plow down the corn -

This is a powerful tool for my journey.

When I'm stuck, when I find myself residing in fear, doubt or trepidation...I pick myself up, dust myself off and begin to examine which corn to "plow down" so there's room for new possibilities, new information, new insights, new perspective, new viewing points, new adventures, new people, new ground upon which to stand for both myself and all that is headed towards me.

If you are willing to use this tool - even at the risk of appearing "crazy" like the farmer in the film; if you are willing to identify and plow down what is in the way of your forward progress...what you will witness is miracles all around you, coming at you from all directions, once the way is clear for them to arrive. Things you could never have imagined would come your way will manifest before your eyes once the "corn" is removed and the space is there for these gifts to "land" in your "corn field".

A "farmer" such as this is a person who is engaged with Life. Inhabiting this frame of mind - one eventually becomes a resident of a place within which little will remain unrevealed as long as there is willingness to keep eyes, heart and mind wide open. These revelations will help to distinguish which "corn" to cut down and which to keep for the harvest.

PLOW DOWN THE CORN!

In-Joy

Cheryl

"Not being known does not stop the truth from being true!" - Richard Bach

Tools for the Journey #10 - Christmas Wisdom - Timeless Wisdom

Tools for the Journey #9 - Seeing possibilities

What do you think when you see one of these mystical, magical balls in your yard? Do you see weeds? Do you think hassle? Or do you see........possibilities? For me I am in the later group; when I see dandelions gone to seed, I see pure possibilities! Like a child on Christmas morning I can't wait to run out into the yard and start making wishes! This is a simple pleasure, and in my heart I feel perhaps all of my truest wishes might just change the world if I wish them on enough dandelions!

When was the last time you picked one of these magical balls and with your exhale made a wish? Breath-sending-wish out onto the wind with your heart so fully open, and new and full of hope and belief in possibilities!?

One sunny afternoon when my yard was overflowing with these "possibilities" - I decided to find out just how many possibilities exist in a single dandelion. Armed with my curiosity I went out and picked three dandelions of differing sizes, I came inside, and with tweezers in hand I counted the seeds of each separate puffy globe.

Largest globe: 184
Medium globe: 164
Smallest globe: 158

The numbers surprised me because I had assumed the number of seedlings of the smallest globe would be far fewer than the number of seedlings on the largest globe. However you can see from the numbers this was not the case. I was delighted at this discovery and took this as a message and a metaphor. Possibilities themselves are not "big" nor "small"...they just are and become what we make of them.

Possibilities are all around us and many are hidden in plain sight yet disguised as annoyances or inconveniences on the surface. If we look carefully we may discover myriad possibilities right in front of us, just below eye level. To discover the extraordinary within the ordinary perhaps we need "new eyes".

I used to think one dandelion = one wish.
The way I now figure it is even with the smallest globe I get 158 wishes rather than just one. Granted this might mean I spend more time standing in my yard or by the side of the road somewhere thinking up 158 wishes...but this might not be so bad after all.

Another thought I had was: we get 1 wish and 157 thank-yous for the opportunity to make the wish. So very much to be grateful for...and any wish made should, in my way off looking at things, always be partnered with gratitude from the outset.

Gratitude for possibilities.
Gratitude for the miraculous life.
Gratitude for witnessing the extraordinary hidden within the ordinary.
Gratitude for the generosity of friends as they provide me with a never-ending supply of tools for my journey.
Gratitude on this Memorial Day for all of our service men and women past and present.

Not many people land here on this blog page perhaps, but I visualize each blog post as a unique puffy dandelion globe. I exhale my breath and watch as all the tiny seedlings float out onto the winds of cyberspace realizing one will never know how far and wide the distance our wishes travel...or whose heart it may touch.

Here is my one wish: that each person who lands here and reads this finds some value, some insights, some hope and perhaps even some useful tools for their journey.

Also, symbolically here are my 157 thank-yous for the opportunity to make the wish in the first place!
......................................................................................................................................................................

Blessings on the journey!
In-Joy
Cheryl

Tools for the Journey #8 - Lift As You Climb!

Today my heart is heavy for all of the loss, sorrow, and unimaginable suffering and heart ache going on in Haiti. The images of so many of our fellow humans in so much pain is stunning to the point of taking my breath away. There are no words any of us not there are qualified to speak about this tragedy other than to speak out loud that we see, we hear, and we will help in whatever way we can.

In honor of our brothers and sisters in Haiti I want to share a small miracle which I helped to create and which is hopefully having a positive impact on some people in Haiti now. I don't say this to impress you, but rather to impress upon you how even our smallest actions still have the potential to cause good ripples which can be far reaching.

Last fall the ABC Extreme Makeover Home Edition show came to our small corner of New Hampshire and rebuilt the home of some close friends of mine. As a result of participating in this event, I began to make an effort to watch this television program once in a while. One day while watching an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I heard the story of a pastor from New Orleans whose church was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. This man, Pastor Willie Walker, was a hero in his community for his selfless efforts in the aftermath of devastation which was caused by Hurricane Katrina.

I was deeply touched by Pastor Walker's spirit, and by his story. So that night I wrote down his name thinking I would Google him and send him a card thanking him for his courage and good deeds. Months went by, and running at the speed of life with small children and a full time job meant his name sat on my desk on a piece of paper week after week. Finally in early January I followed through on what my heart kept telling me to do; I located his number online and I called him. We had a lovely conversation, and I hung up the phone knowing I had found a kindred spirit at the other end of the phone line that day. Willie Walker is most definitely a man who makes a habit of lifting as he climbs.

Just one week after our phone conversation the earthquake in Haiti happened.

After the earthquake I began receiving daily updates from friends who have a number of orphanages in Port au Prince. I was moved to forward these updates along via email to Pastor Walker; within 24 hours I received an email from him asking me to call him ASAP. When I reached him he told me he was working diligently to get down to Haiti to help in whatever way he could, but he did not have any connections in Haiti or anyone specific to help when he got there.

Long story short, I was able to put him in touch with our friends in Port au Prince(http://www.heartlineministries.org/) and Pastor Walker was able to pull some strings to get himself flown down to Haiti. He is now there at the Maranatha Orphanage in Port au Prince helping our friends and the children in the orphanage!!! They desperately needed the extra hands, and there appeared Pastor Walker out of the clear blue sky.

This is a miracle. It is something which would never have happened had I not been moved by his story and then followed my heart and reached out to him. Now, because of this there are orphaned children in Haiti with one more person tending to them, and people from the slums are being transported to the Heartline Ministries clinic so their injuries can be treated - and Pastor Walker is there helping because I reached out, made a friend, took a risk.

For each of us there are times when day to day life can be a challenge; maybe there are financial struggles, lost jobs, relationship issues, sick children, and these things can be a heavy weight upon us as we "climb". But if we remember to "lift as we climb" (by reaching out and helping another) then perhaps we may find unexpected courage, and even the burdens which seem too heavy - might somehow be lightened.

All of my burdens these days are lighter when I consider the unimaginable weight on the shoulders of those in Haiti today. I will keep climbing, I will continue to take risks and reach out when my heart pulls me to do so... There is comfort in knowing if I "lift as I climb" then someone else's burden may be made lighter by my willingness to reach out and lift them along with me.

Blessings on your journey.
Lift as you climb!
Never under estimate the power of reaching out!
Cheryl

Tools for the Journey #7 - Point of View vs. Viewing Point

As we head off down the path of a new year I find myself curious to see what 2010 holds in store for me. As I ponder possibilities and plans I am reminded of one of the great tools I was given by my mentor and friend, Tom Crum. This particular tool I keep close at hand and use often. I cannot begin to tell you how much it has helped me over the years to find lost perspective. Tom's distinction between a "point of view" and a "viewing point" is simple, yet profound. Allow me to share this tool with you as a New Year's gift.

“When I am hiking in the mountains, I often find myself on densely wooded trails, not quite sure where I am or where I am going. It expands my perception and perspective dramatically to climb a tree or a ridge to take a look not only at my point on the path, but also at my point’s relation to other places along the path. In a conflict, being willing to change allows you to move from a point of view to a viewing point – a higher, more expansive place, from which you can see both sides. A point of view is often something we need to defend. A viewing point is a place of increased perspective and greater possibilities. Rising up to a viewing point takes only one person. It doesn’t require movement on the other person’s part. Rising up to a viewing point does not mean totally forsaking your point of view. It puts your point of view in perspective in relation to the whole.”

From: The Magic of Conflict by Thomas F. Crum

January 1st always feels fresh and bursting with potential. However, as weeks and months pass and life begins dishing up her various challenges I often get temporarily lost in the "forest" of things. Remembering Tom's tool I step back, climb up and from this elevated viewing point I can more easily see my place on the path in relation to the world around me...and this increased perspective makes all the difference...enabling me to begin anew.

This year if you find yourself in the thick of things; if you can't see the forest for the trees...remember you can stop at any time, climb up and get a higher view of things. The perspective afforded from this more "expansive place" can be transformational on many levels. When we can put our point of view in perspective in relation to the whole, then anything is possible.

"What would it be like if you lived each day, each breath, as a work of art in progress? Imagine that you are a Masterpiece unfolding, every second of every day, a work of art taking form with every breath." -Thomas Crum

Blessings on your journey!
Cheryl

Tools for the Journey #6 - REACH

My friend, Erik Weihenmayer is the most famous adaptive athlete in the world. He is the only blind mountaineer who has summited all Seven Summits. Recently, while visiting us in New Hampshire, Erik gave me one of the most important "tools for the journey" I have received in a long time.

These simple words from him will serve me well on the journey ahead:

"When you are reaching for your goals sometimes this means you will be reaching out into darkness - reach anyway. Trust yourself. Trust the people closest to you to support you. Trust the ground underneath you, and reach out with courage because the "darkness" is a temporary state." (www.touchthetop.com)

While Erik was in New Hampshire I took him climbing. Watching him climb the chosen vertical rock face I saw him act out this advice. He made sure he had all the necessary equipment (tools) to accomplish the task before him, he had someone go ahead of him to clip in the anchors he'd need to prevent him from falling too far if he fell, and then he started climbing. He trusted the people with him on this adventure to support him, he trusted the rock beneath him, and he reached out with courage for where he wanted to go.

Standing there among the splendid wash of autumn colors watching Erik climb that rock face changed me. Watching someone with far more to fear, reach bravely out into the darkness was powerful and encouraging. Erik lives his own advice every day. Even though the "darkness" for him is a permanent state - he showed me it is just a choice, a state of mind rather than a state of being...and he chooses light as his state of mind, the place he comes from, even as he continually reaches out into the darkness.

Time Magazine put it best: "There is no way to put what Erik has done into perspective because no one has ever done anything like it. It is a unique achievement, one that in the truest sense pushes the limits of what man is capable."

So, my friends REACH; and remember the darkness is only a temporary state.

Cheryl